


Catharsis

by jimmujamskirkholmes



Category: Heartland (TV)
Genre: Eventual Happy Ending!, F/M, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Sexual Assault, Past Sexual Abuse, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Ty Borden needs a hug, Ty owns my whole heart and soul, ty will heal i promise
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-16
Updated: 2021-03-17
Packaged: 2021-03-24 08:55:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,718
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30069783
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jimmujamskirkholmes/pseuds/jimmujamskirkholmes
Summary: AU. Ty Borden arrives at Heartland with far too many skeletons in his closet. Unknowingly, as he adjusts to life at the ranch, Ty begins a journey of change, healing, forgiveness, love, and ultimately: catharsis.
Relationships: Ty Borden/Amy Fleming
Kudos: 5





	1. 1.

_ “Ty, Ty!” Hoarsely screamed the voice of a soon-to-be middle aged woman. Ty tried to make her out, tried to find her brown, wavy hair blowing around by the force of the shakes. But he couldn’t see her, and it was too late. He was trapped mentally, tied, unable to move, physically. He struggled and struggled, fighting against the rope that was slowly coming loose. He’d get to her, his mother. He couldn’t... _ . 

Ty awoke with a start, his heart racing, sitting up with such a speed that defied the laws of motion. He coughed and sputtered while also trying to look around him. Where was he? Where was this? 

Oh, right, the group rehabilitation center. 

1, 2, 3..... 1..., 2...., 3......, 4.... 

He made it to 4, and this is a celebration. Ty’s never able to make it to 4 until he’s forced into a ball by his mind, sobs wrecking his chest, tears flowing rapidly passed his eyes and onto his cheeks, the burning of his scars eerily present.

He hates this. But he brought it among himself. 

He needs to settle his breath, because he’ll finally be out of the city, to some place called “Heartland.” Maybe the country is what he needs to give him some space, what he needs to fight this trauma. And it’s too bad, really, that it wouldn’t be “overcoming” it, but fighting it. Why is his life always fight, fight, fight? The answer is not yet for him to know, obviously, Ty thinks with a mental sneer. 

Ty’s breathing finally settles out, and his heart calms. With one more glance around the room, Ty deems it safe enough to uncurl his body. Rooms with too much open space are never good; there’s no place to hide and become invisible. Swiveling his body around so his feet touch the cold, dirty floor, and shakily standing up, Ty begins his day. 

——

“Ready to go, boy?” Ty’s parole officer asks. Ty simply glares. With a name like Clint Riley, how could you not hate him? 

“You won’t be gettin’ anywhere with that attitude. Best give me an answer.” 

“Yes. I’m ready.” Ty says sarcastically. How he loathes this man. 

“Won’t go off attempting to kill anyone, will you?” 

Ty’s blood freezes, and he glares at his parole officer piercingly, icy ocean blue eyes aflame. 

His parole officer notices his stare, and admonishes, “C’mon, you know I was joking,” and then mumbles, “why I ever got into this work is beyond me....” 

Then why did you go into this, you piece of shit? Ty’s mind screams, whole body vibrating with anger that threatens to escape, anger that he has never been able to control. Fearing the uncontrollable rage, though, Ty’s body slumps, and he sighs, rubbing his eyes. 

“Let’s just get this over with.” 

Ty’s parole officer coughs, and continues in a dry, morose voice that reminds Ty of the people who make announcements over the speaker systems in supermarkets and sound like they want to die. “Well, you must know that you are not allowed to leave the farm, you must treat your host family with respect, you can only leave the farm to pick up refills of medication, see a therapist...” 

“No.” 

“What?” 

“I don’t... want a therapist. And I don’t want the Heartland people to know about....” 

“They have to know that you are allowed to leave the farm only when..”

Ty interrupts, “They don’t.” 

Maybe some feeling showed in his voice, or maybe his parole officer suddenly gained a heart, but he nodded, and went on to list the rest of the rules and regulations he can’t break or else he’ll be back to the detention center, blah blah blah.... 

And before he knew it, finally, he was able to leave the center, pack his bags in the back of his truck with his motorcycle, light a cigarette, and leave the city. 

——

The sound of heavy, screeching guitars is loud, his windows are down, the wind flying through his hair, and Ty is alive, soul and heart screaming to exit his chest. 

He is free. There is absolutely nothing but farmland and fresh air and fields.

At least, for 5 more minutes or so until he reaches the Heartland ranch and has to actually make a change in his life, one that he’s not sure he really wants or deserves. 

His truck continues down the path, and Ty sees two girls on horses, brown and cream respectively. Why not have some fun? He inches his truck closer to them as he approaches, wanting to wave and maybe give them a spook. Thing is, he didn’t consider the horses. Even though Ty’s a city boy, this was plain stupid on his part. The horses whinnied, almost bumping into each other, knocking the girls off. Not knowing what to do, Ty drives off. He thinks about the way the girls looked at him with pure, unhidden disdain. They were fine, no harm, no foul. 

Until, he runs into the blonde headed girl who was on the cream horse at the ranch, having chased after him on her horse.

“Don’t you know not to drive so close to people on a horse? What kind of idiot revs their truck so close?” 

Ty shrugs. “What’s your deal? And, do you know some woman named Marion, runs the ranch?” 

“My mother.” The girl responds, voice off in a way Ty can’t place. 

“Is she as friendly as you?” Ty retorts with a dry smirk. 

“She was killed in a car accident a few weeks ago.” 

Oh. Oh. 

“I,” 

“Amy!” A high-pitched, squeaky voice yelled out. Ty turned his head toward the farm house, where a young, slightly chubby, blonde haired girl stood, waving excitedly and eyes alight. When he turned around, she was gone. 

_ Amy, _ huh? 

Ty takes out a cigarette and goes to light it, when it’s immediately snatched out of his hand. 

“You can’t smoke here. And is that how you introduce yourself to people, by blowing smoke in their face?” A deep voice says, and Ty looks up to see a man, maybe in his 60s, with a gray mustache and wrinkles that must represent hard labor of the past. Of course, Ty can’t ignore this guy’s ridiculous cowboy hat. Guess people really do wear those around here. Now that he thinks about it, didn’t that blonde girl with the squeaky voice have one....? 

“The name’s Jack.” 

“Ty.” 

Jack considers him for a moment, and Ty is suddenly reminded of how he must look like a delinquent in Jack’s eyes. 

Jack sighs. “Well, we’re going to have to set some ground rules..... Let’s show you around, first.” 

And so Ty is shown into the barn with all different sizes and types of horses, is told about the ranch and how Jack’s daughter, Marion, used to work on horses, creating a bond through authentic and natural rehabilitation, and now his grand-daughter- Amy Fleming- has the same gift, following in her mother’s footsteps. Shown to the barn attic’s loft, the loft smells of wood and the way only horses can smell. Overall, there is an earthly scent that permeates throughout the room. It feels safe, not overly light nor dark, but a perfect medium that Ty can blend into and possibly exist without being noticed. Ty feels like he could cry. 

“It’s not much, but...” Jack begins, almost sheepishly, softness creeping out of the original hard exterior he had presented to Ty.  _ What? _

Interrupting, Ty shakes the frame of the bed and gloats cockily, “Well, even with this bed, I think I can make do.” 

Jack glares, turned off by Ty’s rudeness and apparent ungratefulness, and Ty couldn’t be more relieved. The last thing he needs is to show that he feels happy and comfortable, for that is when people like to take that away from you. Ty knows this very well, so he acts like he doesn’t care and is snobby. The softness, too, is what he  _ doesn’t  _ need. It’s too much to expect otherwise, and he just doesn’t know what to do with it, how others might expect him to  _ reciprocate.  _ For his whole life, at this point, Ty has been forced to bend, mold, and simply  _ change  _ depending on the volatile emotions of others. Ty knows, at the core of his being, that no one ever really cares about another unless they are blood related. And even then, it depends. And it always fucking  _ depends.  _ If there is nothing that he can truly do  _ right,  _ well, Ty knows that the least he can do is be invisible, somehow, and lay low, even though doing this clashes with his reckless and Born-to-Run spirit. Safety is key. He also knows that the Fleming family, while having kind hearts, must view him as nothing more than a rude, un-intelligent delinquent. There’s nothing he can really do about that, though, and all he wants is to survive a year here on Heartland until he’s 18 and finally be on his own, how he was always meant to be. 

Jack motions for Ty to follow him down the stairs, and Ty follows, after throwing his suitcase and guitar case on the bed haphazardly, giving his room one last look over. He’ll be back, later. 

— 

Dinner was interesting. Ty has always enjoyed observing different family dynamics. There was Jack, at the head of the table, Amy next to him, while Ty sat next to the eldest sister, Lou. He was informed that the squeaky voiced blonde girl, Mallory, often comes for dinner, too, and to prepare himself. Ty grinned briefly at that. What is he getting himself into, here at Heartland? After a few minutes of waiting, everyone finally begins to eat, and Ty tries not to completely gorge himself on all the food. The conversation goes from lighter topics surrounding daily life at Heartland, town gossip, and then onto more serious discussion over how to manage Heartland with Lou being back from her corporate job in New York since Marion had died, the general welfare of the horses, school… At the mention of  _ Dad,  _ a cold aura settles over the table. Amy, Lou, and Jack all respectively bristle and grumble. Ty continues to eat, and out of the corner of his eye, he feels Jack’s eyes on him, and he tries to slow his ferocious style of eating down a bit and realizes that he might have to watch out for Jack, just in case. Especially watching his rise to quick anger over some person,  _ Dad,  _ who is left unnamed, Ty thinks he probably shouldn’t push, depending, of course. Slowly, everyone begins to finish their last bites of food, and Ty is anxious, eagerly waiting to get back to his room to scope out his surroundings and become familiar with them, because he knows that he won’t be able to sleep without doing so. He desperately needs to calculate the dimensions of the wall where a door  _ should  _ be, because there is no way he can  _ not _ lose his mind knowing the possibility that anyone could sneak in while he’s sleeping and he’d never even  _ know.  _ Sure, he’s a bit paranoid… 

“Ty? Ty!” A voice says. 

Ty blinks out of his reverie, looking up into the concerned face of Lou. 

“Yeah?”

“Everything okay?” Lou begins. “Supper’s over, unless you want to wash the dishes.” 

Ty blinks again. “No, yeah. I, um, I’m good.” 

Drawing out the “O”, Lou drawls, “Okay…”

Ty practically flees from the room, not without noticing Jack and Amy giggling about something in the corner. Is there something they are not telling him? Ty feels vaguely annoyed, slight tension brewing behind his eyes. He can’t be bothered with something like this, but he knows he shouldn’t assume that they are laughing  _ at  _ him and are trying to trip him up with something, ready to kick him out. Ty really would not know what to do if he were kicked out and left to himself… where would he go, hiding in the vast city of Calgary  _ again, _ homeless? 

Ty feels his heart rate speed up and the beginnings of panic threatening to overwhelm him. Stumbling outside of the house and out on the front porch, Ty breathes in heavily, and one of the golden retrievers comes up, nuzzling against him. Ty shivers, but reaches down and caresses the golden’s soft fur. The golden retriever looks up at Ty, soulful brown eyes seemingly asking,  _ you okay?  _ Ty stares at the dog, wondering, the ranch has dogs? 

“Kid?” Ty hears Jack’s voice call out, and he feels even more trapped. Ty swears, if he hears someone call him  _ one more time.  _

“Yeah, I’m fine.” 

Jack grunts. “Well, early morning tomorrow, best to remember that.” 

After Jack stalks back into the house, Ty practically  _ runs  _ back to the loft. And finally, Ty is back in his room.  _ His  _ room. It’s a barn, and he’s sleeping above a bunch of horses, and it smells like shit, but he has some calming scents and sprays of light lavender and rosemary that calm him, and hopefully, there are no chemicals in them that will harm the horses. Ty doubts it, as rosemary especially is used in various insect repellents, and it’s not as if he’s going to go down in the barn and spray anything in the horses’  _ eyes. _ Ty walks around the room, exploring, checking the corners for bugged cameras (highly unlikely he fucking  _ knows,  _ but he’s been stranded and left in some strange places before, okay?), for hiding spaces. He unpacks his suitcase back in the center of the room he had thrown on the bed before dinner and places the folded clothes in the drawers near the exit of the room. God, he really needs to build a door because this is  _ ridiculous.  _ Next, Ty places his hand-knit blanket given to him by his mother as the final layer over the bed, and his heart aches a bit. He wonders where his mother is right now, if she is shacking up with some other boyfriend in Calgary, if she is even still in the  _ country _ , as she’s always wanted to go to California. Ty doesn’t understand why he wasn’t able to see her after he was arrested, being transferred to the detention center and then to the group rehabilitation center. Why did  _ she  _ never call? Is it true that he lacks so much importance and worth? Ty sighs, and he continues to unpack, placing a few books on the small shelf on the other side of the room below a window, also placing an extra carton of cigarettes behind them. 

_ Safe-keeping, huh?  _

Ty scoffs, and the feeling of panic still lingers. Getting up from his bed, Ty stalks to the window and looks outside into the open land. He notices a dark pole from the roof of the barn that extends to the ground outside. 

_ Maybe…? _

Ty props himself on the bookshelf underneath the window and swivels his body around so that his legs can hang out of it. Extending his arm, Ty attempts to grip the pole and almost falls out of the  _ damn window,  _ but finally grips the pole with a harsh, frustrated grunt and slides down slowly, trying not to make too much noise against the side of the barn so as to wake or disturb the horses. 

Outside in the darkness now, with the stars shining over him, Ty feels so  _ confused.  _ This whole day has been a whirlwind of emotions. First waking up abruptly as usual, then packing up, having to interact with fucking  _ Clint Riley  _ for more than an hour out of all people, saying goodbye to two of his good friends from group, and then feeling elated as he drove out to Heartland and then succumbed by insecurity, fear, feeling  _ trapped… _ Ty is not sure how much longer he can regulate his emotions without stable meds, and he almost smacks himself in the head for dismissing some of the extra help. Well, Ty thinks to himself, he’s been able to deal for the last few years, he can deal for a few more. 

Once he is a considerable distance away from the farm, Ty pulls out a cigarette and lights it, and for the second time that night, Ty exhales the smoke and thinks,

_ Finally.  _

**__**

  
  


_ “You know you are my sweet boy, don’t you, Ty?” The sweet voice of his mother cooed. Ty smiled brightly.  _

_ “Yeah!”  _

_ “No matter what happens throughout life, Ty, I will come back to you.”  _

_ Ty looks at his mother with confusion. “What do you mean, mom? Why would we be separated?”  _

_ There is a loud bang in the distance, and his mother suddenly looks behind her.  _

_ “Because… Ty, you know, you don’t deserve Wade’s rage? I am so, so sorry for doing this to you.” Tears well in her eyes as the sound becomes closer and more identifiable.  _

_ “It’s not your fault, Mo-” And he isn’t able to finish, and it was too silly of him to think he would be able to ever finish saying something calmly in this too small, ratty house.  _

_ The memory shifts. On the outside, Ty can be seen shifting restlessly in bed.  _

_ “No, stop!” Ty tries to yell, but with the tape shoved over his mouth by an unknown person, his attempts are futile. He struggles nonetheless against the ropes, and why is this the second time?  _

_ “Is little baby Ty also looking for some fun?”  _

_ Ty’s blood freezes, and he is too weak, and his vision goes black as his jeans are ripped off.  _

“Huhh,” Ty gargles out and rolls out of the bed into a ball with a loud  _ thump.  _ Bile rises up in his throat, threatening to release all over the floor, body shivering. 

_ Where am I, where am i where where wher- _

A horse whinnies below and there are subdued voices that suddenly stop. 

“Hello?” A squeaky voice calls out, and should Ty recognize this? He is still shaking and he is in pain and his scars  _ burn  _ like he is surrounded by an all engulfing fire. He can’t answer, his throat feels like it’s closing, trapping the words from the inside and his world is  _ spinning  _ and it wasn’t even the  _ worst memory.  _

The stairs seem to creak for a minute, but then the sound of footsteps goes silent, as another voice says, “Don’t go up there, we have a new stable hand…” 

Breathing in and out, in and out, 1….2,...3…. Ty runs his hands over his head, still in a fetal position, riding out the nightmare.

Finally feeling more stable, Ty sits up slowly and gauges his surroundings, not quite sure where he was, and immediately feeling scared being in an unknown place. A horse whinnies again from outside, and Ty tries to look out at the sky. 

_ Heartland.  _

Right, he’s at heartland, and he runs his shaky hands over his face, sitting back on his bed, trying to remember to breathe. What time is it? 8:30 am. Maybe he will have time for a shower and breakfast? He always forgets what to do after these episodes, which shocks him every time. Being in a new, unfamiliar environment is not especially helpful, which has triggered Ty’s further disorientation with reality. 

Meds, right. That’s what he needs to take. 

Rummaging through the drawer, already filled with excessive nonsense, with different drawings and the like that Ty can’t remember drawing himself, Ty swallows down three different pills and tries to convince himself that everything is still normal, that he is still  _ him.  _

It seems more and more unlikely everyday. 

\-- 

“Well look what the cat dragged in.” Jack mentions from the living room. 

“Breakfast?” 

Jack snorts. “That’s far gone now, kid. This ain’t a motel.” 

Ty stiffens. “Then, when are meal times?” 

“Breakfast is at 7:15, lunch at 12:00, and dinner at 5:30.” Jack states matter of factly. 

“Time for a shower, or?” 

Jack stares. “We’re going to be greatly behind on our work today.” 

Ty stares right back, head tilting slightly to the side with his eyes slightly widened, knowing how it may make him appear to an older male, even though his intentions here are innocent. 

Sighing, Jack says, “Well, it’s your first day… So make it quick! We’ll all be behind on our work because of you.” 

Ty nods and quickly walks to the bathroom, locking the door twice. Removing his shirt, he winces at the grotesque scarring of his back, resigned to the fact it will never look any better. At least, some of the scars have healed over the years, and his tattoos cover some of them. The main slash, though, never lessens in its intensity, and Ty almost laughs, as his life feels the exact same way- never lessening in intensity. 

\-- 

His mind  _ hurts.  _ His body  _ hurts.  _ Maybe this stable hand work is too much for him, and he almost craves death. 

“Had enough yet?” Jack jokes. 

Ty glares at the pile of dirt and  _ shit  _ he’s scooping up. “Honestly? Yeah.” 

“Well you can leave anytime you want to.” It’s a temptation, Ty knows this. If he steps off the farm, he could be booted, and who knows where he would end up. 

Ty just shrugs. “It’s fine. All part of the job.” 

Ty hears a horse whinny and a girl’s voice. And within the gate, there he sees Amy and the skittish black horse he first ran into on his first day at heartland. 

“You know it’s not my fault!” Amy yells. “We aren’t going to hurt you!” 

A memory flashes across Ty’s eyes. He’s back at the old house, after  _ that day… _

_ “We aren’t going to hurt you!” A voice urgently says. “Come on, now, come on out of there…”  _

_ He whimpers. “No.”  _

_ And then the door is ripped off, and he screams.  _

When Ty looks back up, he sees Amy caressing the horse- Spartan. 

“That’s a good boy, shh, that’s a good boy.” She says softly and so, so kindly. 

Ty has to look away. 

With a grimace, he turns back to his work, still stuck between the past and present. 

\---

“What are you doing?” 

Ty glances to the person speaking to him.  _ Ah, Mallory.  _

“What does it look like I’m doing?” Ty remarks sarcastically, continuing to brush the horse in front of him. The horse is a light, almost cream-like color. At least he’s finished feeding most of them, watering them, and  _ piling up their shit.  _

“I’m Mallory! What’s your name?” 

“Ty.” 

“How old are you, Ty?” 

Ty sighs. Is there any way to escape this? “17.” 

“Wow! Why are you here at Heartland? What made you want to work here? Are you going to go to school? What kind of stuff do you like?” 

Ty grips the brush so hard that he thinks his hand will crush the handle. 

“Look, kid, I don’t know what your deal is but can you leave?” 

The kid looks dejected. “Why?”

“You are  _ annoying  _ and I have  _ work to do.”  _ Ty almost screams. 

Mallory lets out a breath,  _ hmph,  _ and sashays out of the barn. Ty sits on the stool next to the horse, putting his head in his hands.  _ Jesus Christ.  _ Next to him, the horse makes a small, almost comforting grunt. 

“Thanks, buddy.” 

Outside, there is a large commotion and the slam of a truck’s door. Ty edges outside of the barn, and sees Amy, the girl she was with before when Ty first arrived at the ranch, and some new guy with short brown hair and a beaming grin. They are all shouting and smiling happily, all friends, Ty guesses, until the brown haired guy swoops in and  _ kisses  _ Amy. 

“We’re going now, Grandpa!” Amy calls out to Jack. 

“All right you kids, don’t stay out too late and have fun!” 

“We will, thanks Jack.” Amy’s companions retort, climb into the truck, and head off down the path, leaving Heartland. A strange feeling rises up in Ty’s chest as he stares at the retreating truck. 

_ Strange. _

Upon seeing Ty, Jack walks steadily towards him. 

“You still have three more horses to groom and to restock the hay.” 

“Who were those guys?” 

Jack looks at him. “Well, you know Amy, obviously, and there was her friend Soraya and her boyfriend, Jesse. There’s some school party tonight, apparently.” 

Ty nods, wishing he could go to a party after the long day of work he’s had and  **_still has_ ** _ with no one helping him.  _

“Think you can lend me a hand, Jack?” 

“This is all yours, kiddo. I got myself additional work.” Jack huffs and heads back to the house. 

_ What is with this guy?  _ Ty thinks bitterly, lamenting his situation until an idea pops into his head.

Ty’s never denied that he has a rebellious streak, no matter how many “lessons” he has faced in the past. Without much of a care, Ty thinks,  _ fuck this.  _ He puts the horse, Pegasus, back in her stall and runs up the stairs, grabbing his leather jacket and keys to head to this party. He deserves it, dammit! 

(Not without sneaking inside the house, though, passed Jack in the kitchen, and grabbing the invitation on the dining room table.)

Plus, he really didn’t like the way this Jesse character was leering at Amy. 

Creeping out of the barn, Ty leaps in his own beat up truck, and floors it before Jack can come after him. Whatever the consequences are, he will deal with them later, for right now, he has a party to crash. 

  
  
  
  


**__**

As Ty’s truck rumbles closer to some girl’s,  _ Ashley Stanton’s,  _ house, he wonders how people here out in Hudson’s country party compare to Calgary, hell, even Vancouver. The sound of music is vague, but Ty can still feel the bass in his bones. He hasn’t been to a party in  _ so long,  _ and if this is the last time he has the chance to be free, then he will make the most of it. 

  
  


_ What is it that you’re running from?  _

  
  


This sudden thought rushes through Ty, and he halts before walking through the door.  _ Why is even doing this?  _ He feels like throughout his whole life he has just been making decisions without thinking, not really even having a choice anyway. The problem with him is that he just rushes into things without thinking, fully acting upon his emotions, his restlessness never ceasing. It’s almost as if he was born to run, to constantly be in some type of motion. Maybe he  _ is  _ like his dad. The only thing he’ll have to do is take up gambling and succumb to his overwhelming feelings of insecurity. 

_ Way to go, Brad.  _

“Hey.” 

Ty looks up into the face of a blonde girl, with long straight hair and brown eyes. 

“Hey.” Ty manages to say. 

“Don’t think I’ve seen you around before,” the girl says, twirling her red solo cup. “I’m Ashley.” 

“Ty. I’m, uh, working at Heartland Ranch.” 

Ashley smiles at him. “Why don’t you come in, Ty?” 

\-- 

Jack sighs, looking at the papers Clint Riley left with him, sadness creeping up on him as he looks at his recently deceased daughter’s signature. 

**_I agree to take full responsibility and sponsorship of Mr. Tyler M. Borden:_ **

**_\---Marion Fleming._ **

Why did his daughter decide to take on such a reckless, young idiot? No doubt to try to save another life, to prevent the young delinquent of straying too far from the right path. But now, Jack has to deal with him, and he sure as hell does not want to. 

He heard the revving of the truck going down the road off the ranch, and Jack knows Ty is off somewhere, maybe where his granddaughter is. Hadn’t he told Ty that any part of him that comes within 10 ft of either of his granddaughters will be removed on the first day? He sure doesn’t know how to listen. A feeling of pity threatens to overwhelm Jack for a moment, though, because he remembers what it’s like to be a foolhardy, immature boy. While not growing up under the same circumstances, Jack can sympathize. However, that was then, and this is now, and when Ty returns, he best be ready to face Jack’s wrath. 

_ Tyler Borden, what are we gonna do with you?  _ Jack thinks wistfully, placing the documents back in the folder where they belong.

\--

The party is actually quite temperate, Ty muses. The music is loud, bass pumping, and there are people dancing and loudly exclaiming nonsense while sloshing their drinks around, but it is still nothing to what Ty is used to. Perhaps it’s better, though, as addiction runs through his blood. 

“What can I get you, Ty?” Ashley asks suggestively. 

“Vodka coke would be great, if you have it.” Ty says blandly. It’s a light drink. 

Ashley stalks off to get the drink for him, and Ty sits at the barstool, glancing at the mass of swaying bodies, wishing to be one of them, to disappear into the crowd. He’s had his chance, though, and it passed. He hears a laugh near him, and Ty glances over quickly to see Amy and her piercing blue eyes open wide, laughing with her friends, boyfriend throwing his arm around his shoulders. Annoyance flares through him. 

A hand brushes Ty’s arm. “Here you go.” 

“Thanks.” 

“How did you end up at Heartland, then?” Ashley asks, not looking directly at him. 

Ty shrugs. “Was looking for a change of scenery.” 

“I could never imagine why someone would want to come out to the  _ country  _ of all places. I mean, it is beautiful, especially the mountains in the spring, but where  _ I  _ dream to go is the city.” Ashley boasts. 

_ You’d be eaten alive and spit back up,  _ Ty thinks ironically. 

“You in college?” 

“ _ Ty,”  _ Ashley emphasizes, “you flatterer!”

Ty grins. “High school, then?” 

“Yeah, a sophomore at Hudson High School. What about-” 

“And you want to head to Calgary?” 

Ashley gushes, “ _ Yeah,  _ of course! My dream is to be a high end fashion designer, that is, if I don’t become a professional jumper first.” 

“You compete?” Ty asks. 

“Yeah! Winning will definitely be a breeze now, though, as Amy stopped competing.” Ashley giggles. 

“Amy?” 

“Amy Fleming, duh! You  _ live  _ with her!” 

Ty coughs. “Amy competes?” 

“ _ Used to  _ compete. She was, like, my only real competition.” 

_ A competitive girl, huh?  _ Ty begins to ponder, when- 

“Jesse, no!” 

Ty glances back to the corner, noticing Amy, and Jesse standing  _ far too close  _ for comfort. 

“C’mon, baby..” 

Ty knows he shouldn’t interfere. Hell, he barely even  _ knows  _ Amy, only being at Heartland for almost two days. However, that’s all he needs to hear until he’s up out of his seat like lightning and charging at Jesse, planting a good hit right at his jaw. 

“No, stop!” Ty hears Amy. He’s too caught up in fuckin’ serving it to Jesse, though. 

“Ty what are you doing!” Ashley yells. 

“Get off him!” Amy also yells and pulls his shoulders. 

Feeling slightly more calm after the third punch, Ty relents, but not without whispering one last thing in Jesse’s ear. “When a woman says stop, you  _ stop. _ ” 

Then, Ty stands up, and everyone at the party is looking at him. The music continues to blast, the bass penetrative, while everyone just stares, eerily silent. Ty sheepishly smiles and begins to look around, and Amy is no longer there. Sobered, while inwardly regretting not finishing his drink, Ty leaves the house and goes in search of Amy. 

Jesse staggers up. “Who the hell  _ was  _ that guy?” 

Ashley looks at her brother with a determined expression. 

“I’ll find out."


	2. 2.

“Amy!” Ty calls out from his truck as it grumbles along the paved road. “C’mon, it’s freezing! Get in the truck.” 

She doesn’t respond.

“Amy, please!” Ty tries again. “How are you going to get home?” 

“I’ll walk.” Amy says matter of factly. 

Ty almost laughs. “Jack will _have my ass.”_ More seriously, Ty adds, “Seriously, Amy, it’s freezing and you’re going to get sick. Don’t have heat in my truck, but at least it’s better than walking in the dead of night, _freezing.”_

Amy stops, but doesn’t look at him or make any motion indicating she’ll get in the truck. 

“I’m sorry.” 

Seeming to deliberate, Amy turns around and jumps in the passenger seat of Ty’s beat up old truck. _A giving away present._

Looking at Amy again, Ty says, “Amy, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have gotten involved. I just didn’t want to see you hurt.” 

“You don’t even know me.” Amy states, staring out of the window. 

Ty isn’t sure what to say. I mean, it’s _true._ Ty barely knows Amy, besides the fact she attends Hudson high school, has a gift for working with horses, and no longer has a mother.

After a prolonged silence, Amy says, “Are we going to go or what?” 

Ty clears his throat. “Yeah.” 

The truck continues down the paved road, over rocks and various other sticks, on the way back to Heartland Ranch, as Ty and Amy sit in silence. 

\-- 

“Where the _hell_ did you run off to?” Jack remarks angrily and worriedly as soon as Ty exits the driver’s seat. 

“He was with me, grandpa.” Amy retorts. “It’s okay!” 

“The hell it’s not! Who said you can just leave without finishing all of your work, boy? And Amy, do not defend him.” Jack gushes. 

“And I was supposed to do it with _no help or break_ man _?”_ Ty argues. 

“This isn’t a holiday resort! Tomorrow, I want you gone.” 

Ty glares. “Fine by me.” 

Stalking off back to the loft, Ty tries to prevent the violent shakes passing through his body. From a distance, he can hear Amy and Jack’s voices, and the sound of Lou questioning, “what’s going on?” But he doesn’t care. Ty knew this would happen sooner or later. Not on the _second_ day, but he’s never really had high hopes for himself. Clint is going to be _so happy…._

Turning around suddenly, Ty rushes to the nearest bin, and heaves whatever contents that resided in his stomach. After a few minutes of extra dry heaving, Ty groans and sits against the back of the desk, breathing heavily. 

What is he going to do? 

For one last time, at least, he’ll go have a smoke, and sleep near one of the more temperamental horses, Spartan, he thinks. When he’s back in Calgary, he’ll doge Clint and all of his cronies, and maybe try to make it to Winnipeg, maybe Toronto...

As a kid, Ty always wanted to be an almighty warrior, an epic fighter that could easily defeat all enemies, protecting what and those he loves. He’d be _The Paralyzer._ And as he grew older, he was defeated before he could even draw the first sword and learn how to use it. And so, the Paralyzer became the Paralyzed. 

\-- 

The cackling of the rooster wakes Ty up, and sitting up, dazedly, Ty observes the pile of hay he must’ve fallen asleep in. Next to him, Ty can hear Spartan’s nervous huffs and grunts. 

“Shh, it’s okay boy.” Ty mutters. 

Then there’s a shriek. 

“Huh!” Ty looks around the bottom of the stairs, and sees Mallory. 

Mallory regards him as if he is _crazy._ “What on earth are you doing under there?” 

Ty sputters. “Uh, I don’t- Um. Look, what are _you_ doing here, so early in the morning?” 

“Some days during the week before school I come help brush the horses for Amy.” Mallory says. 

“I see.” 

They stare at each other awkwardly. Eventually, Mallory turns to leave, rummaging through the nearby closet, and Ty quickly gets up, rushing up the stairs to grab his two duffel bags and guitar case. 

_Goodbye, Heartland._ Ty thinks wistfully, with some resignation. 

He hauls his belongings down the stairs, loading them in the back of his truck. Fumbling around with his pockets, Ty swears. His cigarettes! 

Turning around, Ty comes face to face with Jack. 

“Now where do you think you’re going?” 

Confused, Ty says, ‘Didn’t you say last night you wanted me gone by the morning?” 

Jack sighs and regards Ty. “I think we better talk, kid.” 

“About what?” Ty gulps. 

“Your future,” Jack pauses, “And what it means to be here at Heartland, what we all expect.” 

“Um,” Ty sputters again. “Okay?” 

Jack’s hand moves suddenly, and Ty flinches slightly. _Fuck._

He looks at Jack again and notices him looking at him with kind eyes, perhaps with some “new understanding.” 

“Look man, I don’t-” Ty is cut off.

“Breakfast, c’mon.” Jack begins, walking back to the house slightly. “You can unpack everything later.” 

_What?_ Is the only thing Ty’s mind can supply, as he numbly follows Jack into the house. 

\-- 

Breakfast is _chaos._

“No, Lou!” Amy cries. “I told you we don’t have room for another horse!” 

“We need to start bringing in _money_ , Amy!” 

Amy bristles. “Heartland is about helping horses in need, and mom would have never wante-” 

“Well where did that leave us?” 

_Yikes._ Ty thought, also glancing at Jack, whose eyes are boring into his coffee. 

“How could you even say _‘us’_ ?” Amy begins. “You weren’t even here! You were off in New York! You don’t have a say in this when _you were never even here._ ”

Lou sighs and looks at Amy. “I’m here now, Amy, grandpa. You both know much more about how everything runs best and works, but I’m trying to help, because right now, we are not in a good place.” 

Amy stands up suddenly. “I’m going to be late for school.” 

And then she leaves, the door slamming loudly. The sound reverberates throughout the house, causing Ty to wince. 

“Grandpa, you _know_ I’m-”

“She’ll come around, Lou.” Jack starts. “But how about taking it slow, for now? This isn’t easy for any of us.” 

Lou sighs, again, and gets up to bring her plates to the sink, proceeding to stride out of the room. 

“And then there were two.” Jack chuckles. 

Ty can only nod, his mouth forming into a tight line, feeling awkward. Jack looks at him, takes a final gulp of his coffee. Ty is tempted to smirk, knowing the excessive cream and sugar Jack had poured into it. You never know, huh? 

“Are you finished?” 

Ty nods. “Yeah.” 

“All-righty, kiddo. Give me a minute, and then meet me by the truck.” 

Ty brings his dishes to the sink and walks outside, taking in the clear blue sky, closing his eyes as the cool wind brushes over his skin. The golden retriever nuzzles up against him again, and Ty indulges in a few pets. 

“Hey, buddy.” Ty coos. A gray swallow flies above them and lands a few feet away on the grass. Distracted, the golden ball of fur runs off in a blur, barking happily. Ty smiles at the dog and looks at the swallow again. Ty’s always loved swallows, how they can simply fly away when trouble approaches. 

“Ready?” 

“Yeah.” 

\---

Ty tries to clear his mind and rid himself of all his thoughts before Jack stops the truck and he is forced to pour his heart out or whatever Jack is probably expecting. It’s unfortunate now for him, as Ty no longer has a heart. 

It was ripped out of his chest long ago. 

Perhaps his distress was on clear display during the entire trip, because each time Jack looks at him there is something in his eyes. 

_I don’t want your fucking pity!_ Ty’s mind bellows. _Just leave me be!_

The scenery is nice enough as the truck zooms down the road, grass amazingly green and full of life. Jack suddenly pulls onto a smaller road through the grass. Ty startles. 

“Where are we going?” Ty manages to blurt out. 

Jack twinkles but doesn’t respond. This only manages to make Ty even _more_ nervous. Here he is, trapped in a moving truck with some random old geezer. Well, of course, that isn’t entirely accurate. Ty _knows_ Jack, while still superficially, and knows that the man cares greatly for his family and takes pride in the land that has been in his family for generations. He isn’t a Brad or a _Wade._

This thought causes him to wince anyway, belatedly filing him with annoyance. Ty feels as if his body just acts on its own these days and fears whether it will reveal all of his secrets, burdens, _him._

Too caught up in his own stream of thoughts, Ty fails to notice that the car has stopped and that Jack is no longer even inside. Startling and quickly taking in his surroundings, Ty notices that they have pulled up to a small lake, the water a silvery-blue and glimmering with the sun’s full force. Jack is standing in front of it, staring out with a contemplative gaze, demeanor calm and focused. Ty stumbles out of the car and walks over to Jack, keeping a bit of distance between them. What does he do now? Should he begin the conversation? Right when Ty is about to clear his throat and run a hand through his hair, Jack begins. 

“Have you ever gone fishing, Ty?” 

Surprised, Ty responds, “Yeah. Few times as a kid.” 

“With your dad?” Jack continues. Ty has to look away.

“Yeah.” 

“Remember your first catch?” 

“A couple of bass,” Ty begins and then continues, even if he isn’t sure why, “on a camping trip up further in the country. Took so long, didn’t think there were any fish in the water.” 

Jack chuckles. “Requires patience.” 

Ty nods. 

“And I guess that’s something I missed with you.” 

“What?” Ty says, confused. 

Jack sighs. “Well, kid, we’ve only known each other for a little over a day. If I’m about to throw you out over sneaking off once, then we’ll never get anywhere.” 

Ty blushes. “I-” 

“But that doesn’t mean that you can just take off whenever you want and act however,” Jack states, “I know you’ve had a rough time of it. I’m not going to force you into talking about that, and I understand that this is all new for you and possibly pretty damn scary. But you understand that there are rules? Working at Heartland is an opportunity for you to serve out your probation through good, real work, and carefully consider how you want to live the rest of your life.” 

Taking a breath, Jack looks over at Ty to see if he is being understood. Ty only jerks his head once. 

“I’m not some charity case.” 

“Never said that you were,” Jack says, “my daughter sponsored you because she believed in your potential and figured you were worth the effort, figuring Heartland would be a good fit. Now, I find myself agreeing. Ty-” 

Ty bristles. “Look if you don’t want me here I’ll leave, you don’t have to say all of this-” 

“I do want you here, Ty.” Jack says. Feeling his mustache, he continues, “I spoke rashly, that night. My granddaughter… Amy, she… well, you can say I am quite protective of her. And when you came back that night, seeing her climbing out of that truck of yours with a red face-” 

“That was that bastard Jesse-” 

“Thank you for bringing her home.” 

Ty looks over at Jack, eyes widened. The two hold eye-contact, both respectively hoping their messages are coming across. In this exchange, Ty recognizes Jack’s anger from that night, but also his fear and genuine gratitude. He sees a true grandfather, loving, supportive family man. Jack sees Ty, a young, brash, reckless, and scared boy just trying to survive. 

Jack chuckles. “An old friend of mine once said to me, ‘every young boy needs a good man in his life.’ I don’t know if you’ve had that, Ty. Know that I’m around.” He reaches out a hand to place on Ty’s shoulder.

Ty doesn’t even _know what to-_

  
  
“Enough of that now,” Jack says, removing his hand, “What do you understand to be your responsibilities at Heartland?” 

Ty coughs. _Fuck._ “Stable-hand, feeding and brushing the horses, mucking out their stalls, additional maintenance…” 

“And with that,” Jack continues, “brings great responsibility. You will be expected to keep to schedule…” 

Jack goes on to describe Ty’s tasks in greater detail, and even though he only experienced one full day at Heartland, that in itself was already _exhausting._ He doesn’t know how Jack did it for years and asks as such. Jack then goes off on another tangent about his father, his father’s father, the _making of a man…_ It’s fair to say that Ty dozes off halfway through _that._

“Why did we have to come all the way out here for this?” Ty questions. 

“A change of scenery and some fresh air does wonders for the mind.” Jack says cryptically. “Here, too, is where I like to go fishin’.” 

Ty nods and glances at the water. He thinks vaguely of throwing a rock into it. 

“Well, you-” 

“What if-” 

Jack and Ty both attempt to speak at the same time and look at each other wryly. 

“Go ahead.” Jack gestures. 

With a cough, Ty manages, “Um. Well, I mean. What if I ever have to leave the ranch for a time?” 

Jack looks at Ty questioningly. 

“No, not like _that._ I know the conditions of my probation. It’s just, I don’t know if Clint told you this-” 

“Don’t worry about it.” Jack interrupts.

“What?” Ty exclaims. “Don’t you need to-”

“Just give me a heads up, will ya? No more running off out of the blue.” 

“Sure, yeah, of course.” 

“Good. Ready to head back?” Jack questions, already stepping towards the truck. 

“Sure.” 

\---

“Where have _you two_ been?” Lou asks as soon as they pull up to the ranch. 

“Just a talk,” Jack says, “What is it that you need?” 

  
Lou chatters a mile a minute, stalking into the house, Jack following. For a few moments, Ty remains frozen, standing in place. He wasn’t expecting Jack to be so _warm._ Unsure what to do, Ty guesses first things first would be to haul his stuff back to the loft, and maybe start to get the dimensions of his room’s entryway to get working on that door…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pretty short chapter, I know. Shockingly enough, even though I've had Catharsis in my docs for almost forever at this point, a lot of what I have is snippets and various scenes I wrote while listening to music. The challenge that remains now is putting these snippets all together! Hopefully I can upload every Tuesday and Thursday, even though just Tuesday or just Thursday are more realistic times. This semester of uni is rather tough, I must say. Either way, thank you all for reading! Feel free to let me know of any scenes/characters you can picture for Catharsis :)

**Author's Note:**

> Well, hello! If you've read up to this point, thank you so much! I've had this fic sitting in a Google Doc since December 2020 and after opening it up again, I knew I could not let it go! Ideas for Catharsis have been with me for almost two years, and now that I am actually continuing to write, develop, and post this story is insane to me! Ty Borden has always held a special place in my heart, and admittedly I've remained incredibly disappointed with the Heartland writers regarding his character arc and development, especially considering his death in season 14 (I think? Feel free to correct me on this as I've mainly watched seasons 1-10). I think I made my point. Throughout the series, the writers have implicitly shown and hinted at Ty's past abuse and suffering at the hands of his stepfather Wade and the abandonment of his biological father. And as the show is PG or PG-13 or something of that sort, I'm guessing the writers were not able to explore his past explicitly or show the repercussions of the abuse he suffered. Yet, I don't understand how his PTSD was completely glossed over. Ty was simply shown as a rebellious, rather wild kid with abandonment and trust issues. He went through so much suffering at the hands of his stepfather and abandonment & toxic habits of his biological father. It doesn't make sense to me how instead of being shown as healing properly, Ty made halfhearted-ish amends with his stepfather when the bastard never apologized for what he did. Ty's character is so so interesting to me, and with Catharsis I plan to give him justice. And many.... MANY angst and whump times. However, the ultimate goal of this story is to be one of realistic healing, acceptance, and redemption from the past. The story of Ty Borden's ultimate catharsis.
> 
> I hope you enjoy the ride! 
> 
> If I forgot any tags, please feel free to let me know! As I continue to write this story, I will be adding more of the characters from the show, also. Please let me know if there are any specific characters you would like to see or any ideas/scenes you can imagine for this fic! If I can write them in, I will endeavor to do so! Hopefully, too, the grammar is not overly atrocious, as I do not have a beta. Lastly, please DO NOT REPOST this story to any other site. Thank you! 
> 
> My personal Ty Borden character playlist: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/03K6VYkGYbNNSeSP22FaeF?si=U81nfsoiQEKmLVanPtEwJw


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